Undoubtedly, one of the most strange families to ever grace American politics is the Kennedys. The antics of this family range from assassinations to infidelity. With a soap-operatic approach to politics and family, they have carved a mark in politics since 1960.
Continuing this legacy of over-the-top antics is none other than RFK Jr., the newly appointed secretary of Health and Human Services. Some see him as a conspiracy-spouting, anti-vaccine advocate out of touch with reality. Not me, though. I think he makes perfect sense when you consider the alien living in his head. Stick with me now.
Sounds wild ... unless your brain is being occupied by a 2-inch alien bug. Mister Mind is a telepathic worm. He needs Wi-Fi to contact his allies from RFK's dense skull.
Yes, environmentalism is noble. But what if it’s a cover for Mister Mind’s ultimate goal: creating a world full of lush, moist soil for his caterpillar brethren? Being an environmental lawyer, RFK Jr. has many connections that allow Mister Mind to find the most suitable place to make a home for the Monster Society of Evil.
Everyone thinks he's just trying to live up to the Kennedy name. But what if he’s trying to live up to the Monster Society of Evil’s quarterly goals? How is humanity supposed to be taken over if they're healthy and vaccinated? It would be hard to fight a healthy population, but a sick population is far easier to control.
Mister Mind is no stranger to a villainous team-up. He's crossed paths with Dr. Sivana and Lex Luthor and worked with both to achieve his goals. So, it only makes sense that in our world he would partner with the dumber and more sexually aggressive equivalent of them: Donald Trump.
From vaccine skepticism to CIA assassins, RFK Jr. loves a good conspiracy. But maybe that’s just Mister Mind planting disinformation to distract us from his plot to turn Congress into hosts for Venusian Mindworms. When everyone is arguing about flat Earth, no one notices that members of Congress are eating roadkill.
RFK Jr. has a neurological condition called spasmodic dysphonia, which affects his voice. However, what if that rasp isn't a disorder, but rather Mister Mind speaking through a very confused human megaphone?
